Based on my posting pattern for the last few years, it's apparent that July is the time when I return to this thing called blogging. It feels less urgent than it did back when I first started on MySpace back in... I-don't-even-remember-how-many-years ago.
There's more at stake now, and there's more to lose, but it feels like blogging is the realest thing I can do right now. Is this relaxation? Hours and hours of endless scrolling social, reading comments, consuming YouTube. None of it feels that real anymore. It's because the internet is, in a way, not that safe anymore. I never fully trusted it anyway, but there needs to be a space where we can I need a space where I can openly and freely emote through my writing. And for some reason, it feels real to me when I can do this publicly on my blog.
There is fear of judgment. Fear that whatever I write here will somehow damage me or my reputation... and fear that people will make fun of this, or rebuke my ideas. There is fear, but I am really kind of over that because I need a PUBLIC space where I am able to speak and express myself completely authentically. No matter what anyone else may think or feel, this is real, and realness, in this era, is pretty rare, it seems. So let's have an imaginary conversation: one where I ramble, and you just nod.
My Writing
Just because I am rambling doesn't mean I don't know how to write a coherent essay. Writing things down helps me to figure things out. Talking helps too, but sometimes it's just not worth it to have a conversation with someone about something. - They take it in a different direction. They don't understand. They argue. ... Critics might say it sounds like I am not grateful for conversation, or that I'm selfish, so maybe -
Blogging is selfish. But also, it's not, because, honestly, no one has to read this. I'm putting it out there, and I love thinking that someone is reading it and considering my viewpoint, but if you're not, that's totally okay. I guess I am trying to say that I'm blogging now for the reason I've always blogged, selfishly, because I need it and it makes me grow.
My Media Consumption
My famous "news diet" of 2015 has turned me into a person who is starving for stories of real humanity. So now, my news consumption is slowly changing. I am reintroducing meaningful stories and current issues back into my media cycle. In 2015 and before, things were different. I felt I could change the world through meaningful dialogue. Now I understand that I know nothing definitive about the direction of the world, and the best thing I can do is to impart skills to my students, help them to discover their own values, and support them in whatever it is they want to do without judgment. Truthfully, this isn't that different from what I was doing previously as an educator, except that now I feel it even more deeply.
The core of who I am hasn't changed since then, but my goodness, we have been through a lot, and I'm mature now. My perspective has deepened and my knowledge has increased quite a bit. One thing is completely certain - I will NEVER EVER stop believing in education.
Consuming comedy podcasts has been tremendously enriching and has served its purpose - to elevate my mood and entertain me. I wouldn't change that. But during the last twelve - I can hardly believe it, but yes - TWELVE years, the push towards business and away from academia has been to the detriment of music and high intellectualism. Yet over the last twelve years I developed an entire career through business writing, so through the practical application of my academic work and my art hobbies, I really did accomplish something incredible. To be honest, sometimes I question the value of high intellectualism, yet there is a part of me that just loves it! There needs to be a balance.
Choosing Education and Community
When I was a teen for some reason I had a particular viewpoint. "If you are going to do something, make it educational. Make it enriching. It's a waste of time otherwise." Because of this, I shunned movies in favor of theatre. "I watch plays, not movies." If there weren't any plays to see, I read Shakespeare. If I was sick of that, I listened to classical music or jazz. If I wasn't doing that, I was practicing voice, or reading. Sometimes I was writing in my journal.
I'm not saying I never watched TV or movies, I did. And I certainly listened to popular music and watched music videos, socialized and hung out with friends. I went to parties; I did normal teen stuff, but I don't know. I just had this thing about me - make it educational. Also, at the time, we were all encouraged to be "well-rounded students" who were good at both Math and English, or Science and History. This was just part of the environment I grew up in. The expectations were high and I had no reason to believe I couldn't do it. Not for nothing, I saw people all around me doing it, too. My educational experience - in both public and private schools - was top notch.
Yet as I have gained perspective through the different communities and circles where I have lived and served, I can see how unique my experience was. Beyond the core academics, there was an ingrained home ec, art, crafts, and trades program in my public school, specifically my public middle school. We learned woodworking, analog photography, typesetting/printing press, silkscreening, music, sewing, cooking, and art, including throwing and building pottery. In my high school, students who wished to could learn trades like computer-aided drafting, auto mechanics, or culinary arts right alongside students who focused on business or were specifically preparing for college. And randomly, it wasn't until many years later that I learned that my P.E. program was enviable - cross country skiing, ultimate Frisbee, handball, golf, tennis, power walking, volleyball, step aerobics... I hated P.E., but I did all of those sports when they made me!
As a community, we sometimes had major differences of opinion, but there was always an underlying expectation of mutual respect and worthiness as a human, regardless of opinion or ideology. We were expected to be open-minded and to be able to articulate our opinions. I'm lucky and I'm glad that I grew up where I did at the time I did. We didn't have the distraction of social media paralyzing us at every turn. Normal adolescence was enough!
The other interesting thing - we all had jobs. Our situations were all different, but it was absolutely the norm for teens to have jobs starting at age 14, but definitely by age 16, even if it was just a summer job. Those who didn't have jobs were the anomalies.
I did about one million clubs and organizations, both in high school and in college. I guess I was just keeping busy. I liked doing things. I am learning, these are structures that need to persist throughout adulthood. Perhaps that is/was obvious to others, but I feel like I'm learning it every day and all the time. We need each other. We need community - in person.
Now that the dust has settled with my career transition back to education, I am both extremely excited and slightly overwhelmed to share my skills with this upcoming generation whose lives are so drastically different from mine. They are beyond being "digital natives." We are at an inflection point where the skills of writing by hand and, seriously, WRITING itself are being called into question.
This coming school year, my students will be putting pen to paper on the daily. There are no two ways about that. It goes without saying that technology will be integrated. The greatest skills I can help them develop in just one year's time are how to read, interpret, and coherently express their own unique viewpoints. If I can do that, I have succeeded.
